Me, me, me, me, ME!
20-something quick questions with Roslyn
What's your greatest fear?
Losing my children. Second to that, failing as a writer.
What's your earliest memory?
Having an asthma attack at age 18 months, and spending a few days in hospital. I can still remember the smell of the place, the taste of warm milk with cinnamon, and looking through my playpen, through the open blocks in the wall, out into the street, watching for my mother.
What trait do you most deplore in yourself?
My manic-depressiveness.
What's your most treasured possession?
My imagination.
Where would you like to live?
Right here in Trinidad, only in a way bigger house that has room for all my fetishistic hoarding, but which is also magically self-cleaning.
What would your super power be?
Teleportation. Also the ability to strike down rude or dangerous drivers by just thinking it.
What makes you depressed?
Hearing about children suffering. Especially at the hands of adults.
What's your most unappealing habit?
You’re waiting for me to say something like ‘picking my nose’, aren’t you?
If you were to go to a costume party, what would you dress up as?
A Pulitzer Prize winning author, ha ha. Or a cat.
What's the worst thing anyone's ever said to you?
At 16 I was told I’d never have children because I was so fat no man would ever love me enough to marry me. Shows what they knew.
Is it better to give or to receive?
We talking oral sex here?
What's your guiltiest pleasure?
Baileys and ice cream, preferably with a cookie crumbled on top.
What do you owe your parents?
My love of travel and my fuckitall attitude to people who piss me off.
What does love feel like?
Like you’re carrying that person around inside of you in a special, warm place.
What was the best kiss of your life?
My first kiss with Rawle. I was busy explaining to him why a 24 year old woman could not get involved with a 17 year old boy. Especially if she was his English teacher at the time. Then he kissed me and I said “Oh, shit.” I knew I was a goner. Damn him.
Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it?
Well. . . yeah.
Which living person do you most despise and why?
If I answered that honestly, I’d probably get picked up by the Secret Service. Let’s just settle for Brittney bloody Spears and the rest of her ilk. You know, people with no brains, no talent, no God-given gifts whatever, and oodles of fame and money. Don’t we value quality performances anymore?
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I hate saying “whatever”. It lacks imagination. I also hate when I insert “like” into my speech, as if I, like, can’t think for myself, y’know?
What's the worst job you've ever done?
I once worked in an HR department where I was instructed to come up with a system to identify (and get rid of) temporary employees who were approaching one year of employment, as the IR rules at the time stated that if they crossed a year, they would have to be made permanent, and God forbid the company give them any benefits! The HR Manager at the time is now freaking Anglican Bishop of Trinidad and Tobago. Now you know why I don’t go to church.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
I’d delete a couple of no-account, arbitrary men who talked/bullied me into sex when I was too insecure to say no.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
I’d be standing at The Tomb in Gethsemane when the angel rolls the stone away, to see for myself what really happened. Yeah, I’m a Doubting Thomasina.
How often do you have sex?
Sex? You kidding? We have toddlers!
What's the closest you've ever come to death?
Wandering around France at 3 a.m., walking home from nightclubs, and accepting lifts from strangers on a regular basis when I was 21. Idiot.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
A bestselling novel. Or a cat.
Would you rather be smart and ugly, or dumb and attractive?
Smart and ugly, baby. Brains, brains, brains all the way.
When did you last cry, and why?
The first day of school for my kids. My daughter clung to my knees and bawled. I teared up. Then teachers told me later that all day she only asked for her father. Ungrateful little brat. Ya get stretch marks for them, ruin ya boobs, and look what happens. . .
