We all feel lonely sometimes, even in the midst of a crowd. Old friends drift away, migrate, or become so engrossed in their own issues that they have less time for us, and we find ourselves with too many Saturday nights indoors with a book, and too many heartaches that can’t be lessened by sharing. You know it’s time to welcome new faces into your life, but the pessimist in you sneers at the idea. This isn’t a school playground, and ‘making new friends’ is easier said than done. Winning friends can be hard, but it’s doable, and the rewards are beyond measure. Here are a few hints on how to get started.
Get off your tail. Sitting around burying your loneliness under a mudslide of chocolate ice-cream might make you feel better, but it won’t solve the problem. It will also make you fat. Not a party animal? There are many ways to get out and mingle that don’t involve loud music and a cover charge. Take a class, read to sick children, help feed the poor, go back to church. If you’re handy with a glue gun, offer to stick on pailettes at your local Mas Camp. All these experiences are full of potential for meeting people like you…or people so different you just have to get to know them better.
Shift your focus. Notice we didn’t say “lower your standards” or put yourself in a position where you might feel uncomfortable. But if all your friends look like they’ve been stamped out with a cookie cutter, it’s time to widen your horizons. If you’re the type to say, “I could never be friends with someone who (insert blind prejudice here)”, it’s time to widen your net. Vegetarians and carnivores can be friends. Friendship is possible across divides of age, gender, sexuality, education, creed, class, race, or any other categorisation you feel is keeping you from getting to know someone. What’s more, your new acquaintances will probably bring a fresh perspective, which could shake up the way you think, feel and act.
